I found out today that, following a leak near my front door, my house might have mold growing in it. The first thing I thought of were those stories about chronic diseases caused by untreated mold. Naturally, I freaked out. The plumber warned that mold can spread through walls within 72 hours, and the walls might need to come down. Suddenly, a small leak felt like a major disaster. It is amazing how quickly an ordinary day can turn into an emergency.

I called a mold specialist, who said mold can be airborne and advised me not to turn on the fan or air conditioning. So here I am at an air-conditioned, hopefully mold-free Starbucks, having chai tea and hoping I’m not dying. The flood happened 2,5 weeks ago, and after three plumbers, today was the first day we understood the problem. Sort of. Waiting for an answer can be almost as stressful as hearing bad news. At least Starbucks gives me a place to breathe while someone figures out what to do.

The mold got me thinking about love, or our own toxic romantic situations that, left untreated, could spread and harm us. We’ve all stayed in bad situations, whether dating someone married, disrespectful, self-centered, or worse. It can seem easier than leaving and being alone again. We make excuses like “He will leave her when…” and slowly lose ourselves inside the relationship. The problem is that denial does not make the situation healthier.

We have to break down the walls to remove the mold. We must completely remove ourselves from the situation, walk away, and heal so the toxins leave our bodies and hearts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If you keep making excuses for staying, reconsider before the problem grows out of control. Then you can breathe freely again. Easier said than done sometimes, but necessary to our well-being. That first clean breath can feel like proof that leaving was the right decision.